"Mubu", by Alberto Baldan Bembo.
You are sitting in a discreet corner of a dimly lit piano bar. You are with your new friend. His name is James Bond. He is drinking a martini. His martini is shaken, not stirred. You, too, are drinking a martini. Your martini, too, is shaken but not stirred, because you are drinking with James Bond. This might well be the music playing in the background.